The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
