one might say we're banned from that church
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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