Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
