Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
