I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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