So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
