just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
