bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize