so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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