High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
