Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
