how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
