My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't deserve a penis
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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