i think my tv is drunk
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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