my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize