He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
