If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I will pee on everything he values.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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