Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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