you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
