I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
