speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
