He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
