So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
