So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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