Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
