I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize