So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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