curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
