he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
