But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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