there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize