Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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