You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
