She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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