Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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