So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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