when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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