It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
