May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."