Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

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  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2246) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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  (713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (2336)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

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  (630): he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something" http://tfl.nu/3v6x
  Replies (11) Good night (4792) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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  (213): just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week http://tfl.nu/o3oo
  Replies (15) Good night (1043) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?

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  (973): Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet? http://tfl.nu/ol6s
  Replies (6) Good night (1957) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The gym has a pool

  (914): View more from New York

  my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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  (718): The gym has a pool (914): my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high" http://tfl.nu/pnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3331) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested

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  (305): Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested http://tfl.nu/egzq
  Replies (14) Good night (2131) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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  (312): Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend http://tfl.nu/fw95
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1471) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

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  (802): I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it http://tfl.nu/32uz
  Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm too stoned to come over for sex

  (813): View more from Florida

  Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'll be right over

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  (727): I'm too stoned to come over for sex (813): Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock (727): I'll be right over http://tfl.nu/llu2
  Replies (11) Good night (1411) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic

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  (540): that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic http://tfl.nu/gwhk
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat

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  (860): You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat http://tfl.nu/0bsb
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

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  (978): I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar. http://tfl.nu/13q9
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere

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  (201): You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere http://tfl.nu/t03j
  Replies (4) Good night (304) Bad night (173)

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