Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.