i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?