weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country