well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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