so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize