she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
