standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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