i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
