So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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