Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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