you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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