I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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