May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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