Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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