i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
