Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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