there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
