Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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