Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
