Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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