My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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