i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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