in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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