I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
