and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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