She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
