you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
