the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize