If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
